Parenting a Middle Schooler

There are many things you can do to help build confidence in the summer!

Practice combination locks! Lockers are a BIG stress those first few days, and knowing how to work a combination lock makes a big difference.
Get them involved! There are many opportunities to get your child in the building between now and August to help them become more comfortable. Sign up for Bison Boost in the spring.
Listen! While we know that kids do GREAT in 6th grade, they are allowed to have big feelings about going to a new school and making new friends. Middle school is a time to learn how to talk to your parents and share your feelings with them, and we can help by taking the time to be good listeners!

Social Media-Friend AND Foe

Social media, even if your child doesn’t have it, WILL have an influence on their middle school experience in some way or another. So how can you stay ahead of the game and help your child be social media safe?

Follow Their Accounts. Nothing is private in the digital world, which means your kids shouldn’t expect their social media to be private from you. Make sure privacy settings are in place so you can see what is happening with their activity.

Use Large Screens. Kids having unlimited social media time on their phones can encourage impulsivity and reckless online behavior. When you encourage students to use their chromebook or a home computer instead of letting them keep their social media access in their pocket, you encourage responsibility and thoughtfulness.

Keep an Eye on the Clock. Do you know how much time they spend on social media each day? The average teen spends 9 hours a day on social media-time that can at least partly be spent on much more healthy and important activities.

Plan Actual Social Time. Remember that they don’t need 900 friends-just a few close friends are enough to have healthy social development. Intentionally create time for social gatherings for your child so they can spend non-screen time with their peers. Don’t forget to set aside screen-free time with you as well!

What does a Middle School Body Need?

Hygiene

Make sure your student knows how/where to shave (if needed), how to use deodorant, how to keep clean including handling new problems like body odor and acne.

Food

Body growth/growth spurts makes nutrition choices even more important for these kids and sets habits that will help them in years to come

Sleep

Middle school kids go through a shift where their internal clock makes it harder to fall asleep until up to 2 hours later than their old bedtime. That, and the fact that puberty makes kids need 9-10 hours of sleep, means most of our students are pretty sleep deprived!

And Then There's Puberty!

Do	Don't
Compliment them about how they look (but make sure you compliment other things as well!)	Compare your child to others around them (even if it’s a compliment); everyone goes through puberty differently!
Focus on health and feeling strong instead of being attractive.	Complain about your own looks in front of them.
Remind them that photos and videos we see of people on TV or social media are heavily edited and not real.	Make jokes or tell them their problems are silly-even if what they are experiencing is common it’s not common to them.

Myths and Facts of Parenting a Middle Schooler

Myth	Fact
Adolescence is just immaturity and kids get through it by “growing up”.	Adolescence is a time where kids can thrive through an important time by testing boundaries and exploring, and learning new things.
Adolescence is about learning not to rely on the adults around you.	While often the relationships with adults change after adolescence, adolescents benefit from their adult relationships just in different ways.
It’s my responsibility as a parent to resolve conflicts for my child.	Adolescence is a great time where we can talk with kids about their problems and encourage them to solve them with our support and guidance.
Things are so different today than when I was growing up.	While there are lots of things different like social media, Covid, etc. there are some universal experiences around relationships and making good choices that help you be a resource.
There is a “typical” adolescent experience I expect my kid to go through.	Just like every kid is different, every adolescence is different! There are common themes (emotions, social time, brain changes) but there are many different paths each adolescent can take.
My kid doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, they don’t need my input.	Part of learning independence during adolescence is doing the work of “pushing away” parents, but adolescents need their parents more than ever as they grow through this exciting time.